I knew my four year blog anniversary was coming pretty quickly so I thought I better look it up to make sure I didn’t get it wrong. After I found that I did indeed start blogging four years ago on the thirteenth of February I started to read my very first posts. They were short and sweet. They were about my life and my kids. They were genuine and a little more filled with grammatical errors (not that I have gotten much better in that department) But to tell you the truth not that much has changed.
They were still about my drama filled girls that this blog has always been about. Rough mornings getting them ready for school and nights filled with everything but sleep. I wonder sometimes will this stage ever end? Will I ever officially stop Living The Scream? As I kept on reading I realized I don’t want too. This little life of mine is filled with just as much joy if not more than the trials. With all the drama I still get to stare into those sweet little eyes that belong to four young girls who call me Mom.
I have been really struggling lately with the decision to have another baby. Sometimes I think WOAH! This is just too crazy I don’t think I can mentally manage another child ever. Sometimes I think no way can this part of my life be done. I need to feel those little kicks in my stomach and smell that warm sweet newborn smell once more. Oh how this decision stuff is tough!
One thing I am super great full for is that four years ago I started this journey of sharing my life openly here. It has taken me many places. I have met so many friends. I have learned so much about myself and what I can and want to do. I really think every mom needs a passion something they can do that brings them a little solace in the crazy world that childrearing can be.
It’s hard to know sometimes what I should write. How many sponsored posts I should commit too and really think about if anyone is reading my words at all. When I was looking back I loved the simplicity in my words and how casual they were in expressing the way my life was and still is now. I think I want more of that. More realness, more struggles, more humor. Fun things I can look back on and smile about because wether I like it or not there will be a day when I will realize that my life has calmed down immensely and I will not be living the scream any more.