Things have been a little crazy over here, I am talking about broken bones, sick kids, my husband working two jobs, and the regular lack of normal four daughters bring. These things and more have not made it the most enjoyable of times in my life. Sometimes I let my mind wander to a more relaxing place, where I would find my zen, so to speak.
On our recent trip to San Diego we rented a few paddle boards one afternoon. They looked a little hard to balance on but I could not shake the thought that I really wanted to try one. My thoughtful husband humored me and as I stood on that board with the paddle in my hand. I found my inner peace. I think probably the main reason why I was so calm and peaceful was the fact I was paddling away from the madness which are my crazy girls. Saying farewell to the drama, if only for a minute. I love them to death but the calmness of the bay, the colors of the ocean. It was bliss! I longed to live nearby and to do this every single morning, maybe even participate in a paddle board yoga class that I saw a sign for while I was there. Doesn’t that sounds amazing? It did to me that day. I could have stayed on that paddle board relaxing for hours. but after about an hour it was time to go back to my normal non zen life of gathering my gaggle of sand covered girls and heading back to the every day that awaited me after our vacation.
I’m now far from that ocean and from ever having daily access to it and yet it still comes to mind. To make myself feel better I say to myself. “If you lived near that bay, there is no way you would do that every day, you would not have the time. Your kids would still need help getting ready for school. Other things would get in the way.”
I know when my kids get older I will have lots more time for peacefulness in my life. At that time I will probably long for the craziness of my daughters being little. The cuddles, and laughter. The good and the bad. A grass is always greener type of thought.
I think I will try to enjoy the crazy in my present life just a little bit more. As hard as my kids are. They are also pretty amazingly wonderful. They make me laugh and bring me more joy that I ever thought was possible.
My place of Zen will have to wait for now, and that’s okay with me.